Singing

Parents singing – is there anything more awful?

Every class starts with a song and these parents aren’t people blessed with, you know, singing voices so all us babies will be sniggering away like,

‘Oh my goodness, why are they doing this?’

Then, at home, Mum and Dad’ll be busy composing all their own numbers – singing every word – like they’re writing a budget musical.

Literally everything will be sung.

And it’s almost always to the tune of Grand Old Duke of York.

‘Oh the Bonnie Bonnie Boo, she had a nappy on.’ Etc etc.

And they’ll be there trying to hit the high notes and it’s like, ‘Please guys, don’t even go for those ones.’

And then this actor turns up at our house and I’m like,

‘Oh thank God. Finally someone who’s professionally trained. But she’s just belting out this horse racing jingle and I’m having to laugh to be polite, you know, because someone said she was famous.’

Newborn

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