Author Archives

My own room

A cot- a bit like a cage really isn’t it? All those bars! Anyway, Mum and Dad have suddenly decided, just like that, that they’re going to put me in a different cot in ‘my own room’. I mean, I already have a room, thanks- it’s the big one with the double bed. So anyway,…

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Broccoli

Mum’s not the greatest cook but I can see that she’s preparing this for ages – taking way longer than when she makes anything for her and Dad. She’s really studying the cookbook, making sure she gets it all exactly right. She’s even putting some into this little ice tray, making sure she saves it…

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Bunny

Bunny’s my best friend. Some people think that’s weird because he’s a bunny and I’m a baby. They’re all like, ‘Hey B. Wouldn’t you prefer to hang out with another real kid?’ And I’m like. ‘No way man.’ You see the thing with other babies is the moment a game starts getting interesting – like…

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Beach Holidays

So we get to the beach and it’s beautiful- white sand, turquoise waters – all that picture postcard stuff. I’m there kicking back under an umbrella, getting my feet in the sand. And Mum and Dad want photos -obviously – because I’m cute. So they’re there putting this big straw hat on me and these…

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Cabin Crew

Everyone’s all like, ‘Isn’t flying awful? Budget airlines. No leg room. Have to pay for seat reservations. Blah blah blah.’ And I’m pretty worried when I get on the plane. You see Dad’s in 33D and Mum’s in 33E and there’s an old woman who looks a bit like Grandma in 33F, and I’m looking…

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Singing

Parents singing – is there anything more awful? Every class starts with a song and these parents aren’t people blessed with, you know, singing voices so all us babies will be sniggering away like, ‘Oh my goodness, why are they doing this?’ Then, at home, Mum and Dad’ll be busy composing all their own numbers…

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Lunch

Lunch – sometimes it’s just not what you were hoping for. So Mum and Dad decided I could be all ‘grown up’ and were there faffing about in the kitchen for ages. And I’m there thinking, ‘This is it. I’m going to be getting something really exciting.’ Then finally Dad appears grinning away. But it…

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