Category: Newborn

Tummy time

So I have to admit I reckon I’m pretty good at tummy time. I think it’s because I’m actually kind of sporty, for a baby. Sometimes these other babies will come round and I’ll be there working out – you know, arms and legs going like the clappers. If I’m not in my gym, I’ll…

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Walking, walking, walking

Walking. Everyone thinks I just love it. ‘Let’s take her for a walk,’ they’ll say, as if I’m some kind of dog. I’m there thinking, ‘You guys go if you like? I’m alright, thanks.’ And the things is Mum and Dad like different kinds of walk. Mum likes just pootling about the local shops but…

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Massage Mondays

Mondays mean baby massage. Mum has decided to pay someone to show her how to stroke my legs with cooking oil. It turns out it’s quite a fine art – there’s a manual and everything. The class always starts with that typical baby group thing where you go round the room saying what’s been special…

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Outings

Trips out are pretty dire. Firstly, my parents have got this kind of grotty old estate car so I never get to arrive anywhere in style; there’s all this faffing about with the car seat and the seatbelt. And then they’ve put one of those mirrors right up in my grill, so that rather than…

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Visitors

There are lots of visitors in the early days: friends, relatives, neighbours, work colleagues, you name it – if they come round holding some kind of gift and have any vague connection to Mum or Dad, they just let them waltz right in and pick me up. And all these people have an opinion about…

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Welcome to the world

The first few days after the hospital have generally been ok. I mean I’ve fed, I’ve slept, everyone’s looked at me and taken a lot of photos on their mobile phones– the usual kind of new baby stuff. I’ve looked at my parents and thought ‘You know what they’re ok – could have done better,…

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